One of the biggest mistakes ERG leaders make is assuming they know what their members want—without actually asking. It’s an easy trap to fall into. When we’re passionate about something, we naturally want to share it with others. But passion alone doesn’t drive engagement. Relevance does.

The Danger of Assumptions

I learned this lesson firsthand in a conversation with my dentist. My teeth were hurting, so I went in for a visit. The moment I mentioned the pain, he launched into a long-winded lecture about cutting back on candy and improving my dental hygiene. I let him finish, then finally explained that my pain wasn’t from cavities—it was from getting my teeth professionally whitened.

If you’ve ever had a whitening treatment, you might know about zingers—sharp, unexpected pains that hit your teeth and gums. My dentist had jumped to a conclusion without understanding the actual problem, and as a result, his advice wasn’t helpful.

ERG leaders do this all the time. We plan initiatives based on what we find important, rather than what our members have actually expressed interest in. And just like my dentist’s well-meaning but misguided advice, these initiatives often miss the mark.

A Hard Lesson in Engagement

Last year, I was convinced that everyone needed to learn about the metaverse. It was a hot topic, I was excited about it, and I thought it was the perfect opportunity for an engaging ERG event. I expected 250 attendees. I created a beautifully designed virtual space. Everything was set up perfectly.

And then… three people showed up.

The problem? No one had asked for this event. It wasn’t something my community needed or wanted—it was something Ithought they should care about.

Engagement Starts with Listening

As ERG leaders, we shape programming, but we have to remember that the ERG exists to serve its members—not our personal interests.

This means shifting from assuming what’s valuable to asking what’s valuable. True engagement starts by listening. Here’s how:

• Surveys and Feedback Forms: Regularly check in with members to understand their needs and interests.
• One-on-One Conversations: Direct outreach can uncover valuable insights that broad surveys might miss.
• Observing Participation Trends: Pay attention to what types of events and initiatives have the highest engagement (look at the data) and build from there.

The Humility to Adapt

Being part of a community doesn’t mean you automatically know what’s best for that community. It takes humility to admit that our assumptions might be wrong. But embracing this mindset makes all the difference between an ERG that thrives and one that struggles with engagement.

If participation is low, it’s not because people don’t care—it’s because we haven’t given them something that resonates. The solution isn’t to push harder; it’s to step back and listen.

Know your members. Ask what they want. And then build an ERG experience that truly speaks to them.

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