In today's workplace, it's essential for leaders to understand the importance of showing appreciation and gratitude to their employees. One way to do this is by understanding and implementing the five love languages as mentioned in The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace by Gary Chapman. The five love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gifts, and physical touch. In this blog post, we'll explore how these five love languages show up in ERG (Employee Resource Group) leader appreciation.
Words of affirmation are all about expressing gratitude and appreciation verbally. According to The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace, this love language is the most common form of appreciation in the workplace. People who value words of affirmation as their preferred love language are often concerned with what others think of them and value recognition and praise from others.
There are a couple of ways in which words of affirmation can be used to appreciate ERG leaders. The first way is to recognize them when they achieve a particular accomplishment. Specificity is important in this context. The individual should be praised for a particular thing that they did well. The situation, the behavior, and the impact should be mentioned. For example, "I really appreciated how you asked questions in the chat to keep the audience engaged during the meeting. After you did that, I noticed that more people felt comfortable participating."
The second way is through affirmation for character. This means affirming someone based on the traits that they possess. This type of affirmation focuses on the inner nature of a person in a variety of circumstances. Complimenting someone based on who they are as a person is an important aspect of this love language. The key is to avoid using blanket statements that could apply to anyone. The appreciation should be individualized to the person.
A setting in which words of affirmation can be delivered to ERG leaders is through one-to-one conversations. This could be a meeting or a chat message, depending on the individual's preferences. It's important to individualize the approach to match the person's cultural background and preferences. For example, older individuals might prefer a handwritten note, while Gen Zers might prefer an electronic message.
Praising ERG leaders in front of others is another setting to express words of affirmation. This could be in front of a supervisor, colleagues, or even in a company all-hands meeting. Sharing positive feedback is yet another way to show appreciation. For instance, if members of the program love a particular aspect of the program, sharing that feedback with the ERG leader is a way to show appreciation and help them feel more valued.
Quality time is about spending time with someone to show that you value them.Quality time is a love language that involves showing someone that they are valued by giving them your most valuable resource, which is your time. In the context of ERG leader appreciation, quality time can show up in several ways. The first way is through focused attention, where you show genuine interest in the person and give them your full attention. This can show up as meaningful check-ins, where you put random time on someone's calendar to see how they are doing. The goal is to keep it brief but make it meaningful.
Another way quality time can show up in ERG leader appreciation is through quality conversations. This means giving people time to speak with you and share their ideas. When listening, it's important to use empathetic listening, maintain eye contact, resist the impulse to interrupt, and listen for their feelings and thoughts. Affirming their feelings, even if you disagree with their solution or conclusion, is also important.
Shared experiences are an important aspect of quality time appreciation that can be particularly powerful for ERG leaders. These shared experiences can be any type of event, such as attending a conference, going out for dinner, or participating in a sporting event. The goal is to do something with others that allows for shared experiences and memories to be created. For example, attending a conference can provide opportunities for learning and networking while also allowing for team building and bonding experiences. Going out for dinner can be a great opportunity to have a more relaxed and informal setting where individuals can get to know each other on a more personal level. Participating in a sporting event can be a great way to build teamwork and camaraderie while also engaging in physical activity. Overall, shared experiences provide a way for ERG leaders to bond and connect on a deeper level, which can lead to a more positive and fulfilling work environment.
Small group dialogue is another way quality time can show up in ERG leader appreciation. This is especially important for organizations with large bodies of ERG leaders, where it may be challenging to do regular check-ins with individuals. Small group listening sessions can help put people's guards down and make them feel more comfortable providing feedback.
It's important to note that quality time is particularly important for remote leaders. For someone who doesn't normally get to come together with others, this might be a strong love language that you want to consider and implement. On the flip side, people who value quality time hate feeling ignored or left out. This can have a negative impact on their morale and feelings of appreciation.
To avoid such negative impacts, it's important to identify an individual's preferred love language and know how to rectify situations if something goes wrong. For example, if an ERG leader is accidentally left out of an invite, it's important to apologize and make amends in a way that is meaningful to them.
In the world of appreciation languages, acts of service is a language that values actions over words. For ERG leaders who have volunteered their time and effort to make the workplace better for their community, acts of service can be incredibly valuable.
One way that companies can show appreciation in an act of service way is by implementing standardized operating procedures (SOPs) that make it easy for ERG leaders to execute on their roles. With step-by-step guides and clear processes, ERG leaders can focus on their creative ideas and solutions instead of getting bogged down by confusion and frustration.
Data is another way to show appreciation through acts of service. Providing ERG leaders with information on who they're reaching, what percentage of the company is interacting with their ERG, and which departments are more likely to engage can help them make data-driven decisions.
Hardware and software upgrades can also be viewed as acts of service, particularly if ERG leaders need faster computers or upgraded permissions in communication channels like Slack or Teams. Training on specific systems can also be an act of service, especially if it helps ERG leaders accomplish their goals more efficiently.
However, it's important to remember that acts of service may not be appreciated by everyone. For example, some individuals may feel uncomfortable when others do things for them, even if it's meant as an act of service. It's essential to understand what appreciation language speaks to each individual ERG leader and to tailor acts of service accordingly.
Gifts are a tangible way of expressing appreciation. When it comes to giving gifts to express appreciation for ERG Leaders, it's important to keep in mind that the gifts should be personalized and relevant to the individual. This means taking into consideration their preferences, interests, and needs.
One potential gift for an ERG Leader could be a book related to their industry or a topic that they are passionate about. For example, if an ERG Leader is passionate about promoting diversity in the workplace, a book on that topic could be a great gift. This shows that the company is aware of their interests and supports their passions.
Another potential gift could be a subscription to a relevant industry magazine or journal. This not only shows appreciation, but it also helps the ERG Leader stay informed and up-to-date on the latest industry news and trends.
For ERG Leaders who enjoy experiences, tickets to a conference or event related to their industry or interests could be a great gift. This provides them with the opportunity to learn, network, and engage with others who share their passions.
Additionally, gift cards to relevant stores or restaurants can be a good option for ERG Leaders who appreciate tangible gifts. However, as mentioned earlier, it's important to ensure that the gift card is personalized to their interests and needs.
It's important to keep in mind that giving a gift that is irrelevant or impersonal can actually be counterproductive and come across as insincere. Therefore, taking the time to get to know the ERG Leader and their preferences is crucial when it comes to giving gifts as a form of appreciation. Personalization shows that the company cares and values the contributions of their ERG Leaders.
Interesting point: The book references a survey that stated that 68% of people said that tangible gifts are their least valued love language, while only 6% said that it is their favorite. This begs the question: why do companies and ERG programs continue to rely heavily on tangible gifts, even when it is not people's preferred love language?
The physical touch appreciation language can be a tricky one to navigate in the workplace, especially when it comes to ERG leader appreciation. However, it's important to note that physical touch can mean non-sexual forms of touch, such as a high-five or a pat on the back. In a workplace setting, physical touch is not always appropriate, but if the leader is comfortable with it, a small touch can go a long way in showing appreciation.
On the other hand, expressing appreciation via physical touch, for some, can actually mean not touching at all. Knowing when and when not to engage in physical touch is crucial in making ERG leaders feel appreciated and comfortable in these situations. For some people, physical touch is a way of showing affection, but for others, it can be uncomfortable or even triggering due to past experiences or cultural differences.
It's important to take the time to get to know each ERG leader and their individual preferences when it comes to physical touch. Some people may appreciate a friendly hug or a pat on the back, while others may prefer a high-five or a fist bump. Respecting people's boundaries and understanding their personal preferences is key to making them feel valued and appreciated.
While each ERG Leader is unique in their preferred appreciation language, a strong appreciation strategy should touch on all five languages. This way, you can ensure that at least one language will resonate with each leader. It is important to remember that individualization and personalization are key, whether it's through quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, tangible gifts, or appropriate physical touch. By implementing a thoughtful and personalized appreciation program, organizations can show their ERG Leaders that they are valued and appreciated for their hard work and dedication.
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